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  • Writer's pictureMichael Coristine

Nesting During Divorce Can Provide Stability for Your Children

Divorce is a difficult and emotionally charged process that can be overwhelming for many couples. One of the challenges of divorce is separating shared assets and belongings, which can be a complex and time-consuming process. For the majority of couples, it will not be desirable to remain living together in the family home during the long divorce process. On the other hand, the cost of setting up an entirely new home for the departing spouse might be cost-prohibitive. Nesting is one potential solution that some couples use to make this process a little easier. In this blog post, we'll explore what nesting is, how it works, and some of the pros and cons of using it during a divorce.

What is Nesting?

Nesting is a co-parenting arrangement in which the children stay in the family home while the parents take turns living there. Instead of the children moving back and forth between two separate homes, the parents switch off living in the family home and a separate residence. This allows the children to stay in a familiar environment and can reduce the disruption that divorce can cause.

How Does Nesting Work?

Nesting requires a lot of communication and planning between the parents. Here are the basic steps involved in setting up a nesting arrangement:

  1. Agree on a schedule: The parents will need to decide on a schedule for when they will switch off living in the family home. This could be a weekly or bi-weekly arrangement, depending on what works best for the family.

  2. Set up a separate residence: The parent who is not living in the family home will need to find a separate place to live during their off weeks. This could be a rented apartment, a shared living arrangement with a friend, or any other suitable living situation.

  3. Divide expenses: The parents will need to work out a system for dividing expenses related to the family home, such as mortgage payments, utilities, and maintenance costs. They may also need to agree on how to split other shared expenses, such as childcare costs and groceries.

  4. Communicate regularly: Nesting requires a lot of communication between the parents to ensure that everyone is on the same page. They will need to communicate about schedules, expenses, and any other issues that arise during the nesting arrangement.

Pros and Cons of Nesting During Divorce

Like any co-parenting arrangement, there are both advantages and disadvantages to using nesting during a divorce. Here are some of the pros and cons to consider:


  1. Stability for the children: Nesting allows children to stay in a familiar environment, which can reduce the disruption and stress that divorce can cause.

  2. Flexibility for the parents: Nesting can allow the parents to have more flexibility in their schedules and can reduce the need for costly childcare arrangements.

  3. Cost savings: By sharing a family home, the parents can reduce their overall living expenses and save money.


  1. Lack of privacy: Nesting can be challenging for parents who value their privacy, as they will need to share a home with their ex-spouse.

  2. Complexity: Nesting requires a lot of communication and planning between the parents, which can be difficult and time-consuming.

  3. Emotional strain: Nesting can be emotionally taxing for some parents, as they will need to navigate living in close quarters with their ex-spouse.

Is Nesting Right for You?

Nesting is not the right co-parenting arrangement for every family going through a divorce. It requires a lot of planning, communication, and compromise, and it may not be feasible or desirable for everyone. However, for families who value stability for their children and flexibility for themselves, nesting can be a useful tool for navigating the challenges of divorce. If you are considering nesting, it is important to speak with a family lawyer to ensure that you understand your legal rights and responsibilities.

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